Divorce and Remarriage

     This week’s topic in class was divorce and remarriage. One thing I learned was that divorce is usually a selfish act. Divorce is understandable if there is a circumstance where one spouse needs a divorce to be protected from a potentially dangerous situation. However, if a divorce is filled for reasons of not getting along that seem unnatural and selfish. As a side note, the wife is the one most likely to file divorce papers. Isn’t that interesting? 

     I also found it interesting that when seeking comfort during hard times like divorce, men tend to turn towards a substance or activity while women look for a relationship. It is also important to keep in mind that divorce is not only hard for the couple going through it, it affects many other people. If the couple has young children, this could be very hard on them. 

Thanks for reading this weeks post, if you have any questions or comments please do so right below!

Becoming a Parent

What do you think the purpose of parenting is? I came up with two: 1^st is to prepare children to be self-sufficient and 2^nd to teach moral, spiritual and temporal standards.

Prepare. If you don’t prepare a child to do things on their own they will always need another’s help. One day you won’t be there for your children and it would be awful to be worried about them not being able to care for themselves. How can that child thrive and survive in this world without being prepared?

Teach. This world is full of opinions and the world tries to tell society what is best; that doesn’t mean it is. We need to teach our children what is right and wrong because every choice comes with a consequence (whether it's a good or bad consequence). It is important that we let the natural consequence take place when teaching children. However, a natural consequence should not take place when the outcome is too dangerous, could go too far, or affects others. When that natural consequence does not take place that is when a punishment is given (side note: the worst punishment is isolation). I feel that parents use punishments more than the natural consequence but that’s why there are natural consequence, for us to learn from our mistakes.

Can you think of more purposes of parenting? I would love to hear your thoughts! I am sure that you can come up with plenty of more outcomes and purposes of parenting but I thought the two I talked about were most important to me. Thanks for reading, please comment below if you have something to add or expand on! 

Staying at Home

I think with the world becoming more and more wicked it would be wise to consider homeschooling our children.  Women should have an education (knowledge) so that they can teach their children if needs be. It has been said that mothers obtaining a degree or completing a higher education is a waste of money and time. I do not agree with that statement. I am currently working towards a degree in Marriage and Family Studies; how would that degree not help my current marriage and future family? 

Now back to the topic of homeschooling. We as a society send our children to school to learn but it just seems as though it is torture for the child and teacher. Receiving meaningless homework assignments and having your child be taught “values” by another adult. I think that with homeschooling the child will really have a desire to learn because it’s not “just what the school district is making them learn”. Their children are also being taught by someone who loves them and has an actual desire to help them improve and learn. 

If you would like to know some more benefits on homeschooling you can read, The Brainy Bunch by Kip and Mona Lisa Harding is a book about how to succeed in homeschooling. I have not read this book personally but I have heard it is fantastic (its on my to-read book list).

Family Counsels

The first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds a weekly counsel meeting. This is where they discuss concerns of the church as well as other matters. The weekly counsel meetings are preformed in this order:

1. Express love and appreciation

2. A word of prayer

3. Discuss matters (come to a consensus)

4. Follow the Lord’s will

5. End with a prayer

6. Refreshments

The counsel is held in a sacred place and time with surprising openness.

I think this is also how family counsels should be. Sunday nights would be the perfect night to sit down as a family and counsel with each other. Prayer invites the spirit to help guide the discussion. The hard part comes next with coming to a consensus on a family matter. Everyone has their own opinion of how things should be handled but if everyone could be open to what others have to say, it could have a huge difference of how the meeting continues. This is where following the Lord’s will comes in place. If the family is seeking what the Lord wants them to do then the will all come to an agreement. Next is closing the meeting with a prayer and last but not least, refreshments. I think eating a treat is a great way to release any negative vibes that are still lingering plus who doesn’t love a treat.

If you would like to know more about who the first presendeny of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints is, you can visit https://www.lds.org/church/leaders/first-presidency?lang=eng

Family Attributes

A few qualities of an optimal family I can think of include:

•     An established, open communication
•    Close relationship with siblings and parents
•    Reliability
•    Proper boundaries

For this post I would like to talk about having proper boundaries.  I think boundaries are very important because with out them where would you draw the line? We have boundaries to keep us safe and to avoid potential family crisis's.  Family boundaries can also teach each member responsibility and accountability for their actions. Each family member will need to understand the boundaries and know the consequence if now followed. If an individual needs help with a certain boundary, open communication is vital because your will be able to receive that support or advice that your need. Proper boundaries are truly important in a family setting.

Social Media

Do you have a Facebook and/or Snapchat? Do you think those may be causing some tension in the marriage or in a relationship? 

I personally think that when you are married Snapchat is not acceptable to have. With snapchat, you can send pictures and/or videos that will disappear after the other person has seen that image. Obviously, this could easy create problems with infidelity or other sorts. Snapchat is a social media program that is just asking for trouble. 

However, my view of Facebook is a little different.  I think that Facebook could be a great way to connect with old friends but the key is how you approach those friends and communicate. Something that could start tearing a relationship apart could happen when you start confiding in someone else when you should be confiding in your spouse. This creates an emotional connection between you and that friend which could lead to the beginning of a romantic or more personal connection.

Some ways to prevent marital tension with social media could include:

• (Asking your spouse) Is there anyone you feel uncomfortable with me talking to or being friends with?
• Why not join accounts? That way each spouse can see what the other is seeing and there is no opportunity for secrecy.

REMEMBER: If it is something that you would not gladly share with your spouse it is probably not appropriate!

I hope you were able to gain some insight or inspiration about social media, thank you for reading my post!